Post by theoldfart on Jun 6, 2012 19:24:23 GMT
Finally…it had got here. Summer!
The sea was flat as a millpond, sun was out and they told me there was fish out there.
Looking off the cliff I see the birds working!
So as me interest rise's like the sun over the horizon it is time to sort out the boat and get amongst it.
Turning the old beauty over I sees that there is a fair bit to do before we sets off to sea.
The entire snail population of the Isle of Wight have been shagging in my upturned boat all winter and need chucking out and the mess cleaning.
Actually come to think of it snails are hermaphrodites, so they have probably been having a wanking contest all winter. Dirty little buggers.
Still nothing a tub of Saxa and a Bucket of Jeye’s Fluid won’t sort out.
Finally all the little woodland creatures are chemically removed and me boat is scrubbed out.
Funny how nipper always is busy when I has to do this ain’t it?
Still although I got her clean she still looks a bit shabby so off to B&Q to get some paint.
I always go on Fogey day and get me 15% off.
I think they should have a Right Miserable Bastard Day and give 20% off, or a Hen Pecked Husband Day by the look of the sad bastards in there getting their cut priced plants, so that they can spend all summer chasing weeds and being nagged at by their fat bossy wives.
I told them. ‘Get a rod nipper and bugger off from the old woman. Go fishing’ but they just looked at their feet as they carried their trays of Marigolds to the checkout.
Sad gits!
Back at the boat , and she is all painted.
Even Nipper helped make a good job of it.
He pissed off over the pub and stayed out of the way.
Now she is the pride of the fleet, and ready to go.
Outboard time!
After 40 minutes of clearing out the shed I finds the outboard, exactly where we put it last year.
Not the foreign crap that you Nippers use, but a proper English Outboard!
Top of the range Seagull Century Plus. With the five blade prop, clutch and re-wind start.
Finest outboard ever made, and still going strong.
Trouble was an hour later it hadn’t gone at all.
Nipper turns up. ‘Is that a two stroke engine Dad?’ he asks.
‘ Three stroke Nipper’ I tells him.
‘They don’t make three stroke engines Dad’ he says.
‘Well this is, It‘s a two stroke motor and the stroke I am going to have getting the bastard going.’
Finally we relented and bought a NEW spark plug.
The cost of the bloody things. And they don’t last, I only got a new one a few years ago.
Chinese crap I expect, not your real British spark plug that lasts for ever.
So we got the boat, we got the engine, finds the oars then finds the Rowlocks are Bollocked.
Plastic rubbish! More expense.
Finally into the shed to get out the boat fishing gear that we chucked in there at the end of last season.
Usual thing, reels seized, rods crusty, and the cats have used the bait box as a litter tray all winter.
Day later .Reels fixed, rods cleaned and £150 spent at tackle shop, so we don’t have to use a tackle box full of essence of Tom Cat. Bloody cats sod even dissolved the plastic wigglers!
Disaster!! The trailer has rusted out!
So me and Nipper makes a wooden launching trolley, and decides to leave the boat at the dingy park at Freshwater Bay, cos we just found out that the IOW Council don’t own that land and it is said they have no rights to charge for the permits there!
(I am asking bout this and will put the answers on this site. I wonders how many other councils have claimed foreshore that they don’t own?)
At last!!!
Boat, outboard, oars, trailer, rods, gear and ready to go, One last thing get forecast.
June…Rain, gales, strong winds, probably carrying on all summer, but we might get a few days Indian Summer in October!
Pigs might fly.
Why do we bother? I could have spent all that time and money on the Bloody Marigolds from B&Q and not got the grief from Mrs Old Fart!!
Bloody Fishing.
The sea was flat as a millpond, sun was out and they told me there was fish out there.
Looking off the cliff I see the birds working!
So as me interest rise's like the sun over the horizon it is time to sort out the boat and get amongst it.
Turning the old beauty over I sees that there is a fair bit to do before we sets off to sea.
The entire snail population of the Isle of Wight have been shagging in my upturned boat all winter and need chucking out and the mess cleaning.
Actually come to think of it snails are hermaphrodites, so they have probably been having a wanking contest all winter. Dirty little buggers.
Still nothing a tub of Saxa and a Bucket of Jeye’s Fluid won’t sort out.
Finally all the little woodland creatures are chemically removed and me boat is scrubbed out.
Funny how nipper always is busy when I has to do this ain’t it?
Still although I got her clean she still looks a bit shabby so off to B&Q to get some paint.
I always go on Fogey day and get me 15% off.
I think they should have a Right Miserable Bastard Day and give 20% off, or a Hen Pecked Husband Day by the look of the sad bastards in there getting their cut priced plants, so that they can spend all summer chasing weeds and being nagged at by their fat bossy wives.
I told them. ‘Get a rod nipper and bugger off from the old woman. Go fishing’ but they just looked at their feet as they carried their trays of Marigolds to the checkout.
Sad gits!
Back at the boat , and she is all painted.
Even Nipper helped make a good job of it.
He pissed off over the pub and stayed out of the way.
Now she is the pride of the fleet, and ready to go.
Outboard time!
After 40 minutes of clearing out the shed I finds the outboard, exactly where we put it last year.
Not the foreign crap that you Nippers use, but a proper English Outboard!
Top of the range Seagull Century Plus. With the five blade prop, clutch and re-wind start.
Finest outboard ever made, and still going strong.
Trouble was an hour later it hadn’t gone at all.
Nipper turns up. ‘Is that a two stroke engine Dad?’ he asks.
‘ Three stroke Nipper’ I tells him.
‘They don’t make three stroke engines Dad’ he says.
‘Well this is, It‘s a two stroke motor and the stroke I am going to have getting the bastard going.’
Finally we relented and bought a NEW spark plug.
The cost of the bloody things. And they don’t last, I only got a new one a few years ago.
Chinese crap I expect, not your real British spark plug that lasts for ever.
So we got the boat, we got the engine, finds the oars then finds the Rowlocks are Bollocked.
Plastic rubbish! More expense.
Finally into the shed to get out the boat fishing gear that we chucked in there at the end of last season.
Usual thing, reels seized, rods crusty, and the cats have used the bait box as a litter tray all winter.
Day later .Reels fixed, rods cleaned and £150 spent at tackle shop, so we don’t have to use a tackle box full of essence of Tom Cat. Bloody cats sod even dissolved the plastic wigglers!
Disaster!! The trailer has rusted out!
So me and Nipper makes a wooden launching trolley, and decides to leave the boat at the dingy park at Freshwater Bay, cos we just found out that the IOW Council don’t own that land and it is said they have no rights to charge for the permits there!
(I am asking bout this and will put the answers on this site. I wonders how many other councils have claimed foreshore that they don’t own?)
At last!!!
Boat, outboard, oars, trailer, rods, gear and ready to go, One last thing get forecast.
June…Rain, gales, strong winds, probably carrying on all summer, but we might get a few days Indian Summer in October!
Pigs might fly.
Why do we bother? I could have spent all that time and money on the Bloody Marigolds from B&Q and not got the grief from Mrs Old Fart!!
Bloody Fishing.
brill mate, ;D
