Post by theoldfart on Sept 20, 2013 18:54:09 GMT
As the old site is getting a bit quiet owing to the time of year, I thought I had better reply to Loopy's question of how to get the daily'
' Morning Daybreaker'
I know it's not strictly about fishing, but a satisfied fisherman is a happy fisherman, and a happy fisherman is a chatty fisherman so it is better for us all if you take these tips to get the daily ration of, The Morning Daybreaker'
Other wise you end up on the beach on comp night stood next to a right miserable sod who won't say a word to you because he isn't getting his ration on the home front.
(You know the one I mean)
So to get yours follow these simple tips every morning before you get up.
1. Catch the misses when she is still sleeping.
2. Swear that she was having a epileptic fit in her sleep and you were only trying to stop her falling off the bed.
3 As soon as you wake her up , mention the fact that the chap you met last night fishing has a villa in St Lucia and has two plane tickets to go there in January that he can't use and has offered them to you.
4. Wake her up and ask her who the bloody hell Dave/Steve/ or Mandy is as she has been moaning erotically about them all night. This will immediately make them feel guilty, and want to prove their undying lust for you.
5. Mention that her car is getting old and you were looking at a new one yesterday that you thought she would like. ( shame it was sold when you went back later that day)
6. Point out to her that in a recent medical survey, fishermen who make love before they get up, go through the day far happier, far less stress free, and far more likely to buy their wife's random presents and is an excellent way to keep fit, so it must be worth giving it a go for a few weeks to see if it works. ( Actually all of this one is true!)
7. Mention that ' some young bitch on the telly the other day said that she hopes that she doesn't end up like most Old Women in this county who end up as boring old hags who look much older than they are because they have lost their early morning sex drive'.
8. This one never fails, bottle of bubbly, two glasses and total surprise. Well actually it can fail if you have (a) kids, ( b) animals, (c) Wrong time of the month.
9. Mention that you have had a lotto win and trying to decide if you should spend it on new fishing gear or take her shopping. Down side of this is it will cost a tenner.
10. Do what I did. Marry a totally faithfully nymphomaniac who has the sexual drive of a five balled Tom Cat at the rutting season.
If all else fails try flowers and romance , but that usually backfires as it is immediately taken as an admission of guilt.
After Neil Armstrong first stood on the Moon and said the famous "One small step" bit he was asked if it was scripted. He said it was. When asked what he would have liked to have said he replied "Go for it Charley Davro" ( And if you don't know why he wanted to saythat I will tell you)
So..............
Go for it Loopy!!!
' Morning Daybreaker'
I know it's not strictly about fishing, but a satisfied fisherman is a happy fisherman, and a happy fisherman is a chatty fisherman so it is better for us all if you take these tips to get the daily ration of, The Morning Daybreaker'
Other wise you end up on the beach on comp night stood next to a right miserable sod who won't say a word to you because he isn't getting his ration on the home front.
(You know the one I mean)
So to get yours follow these simple tips every morning before you get up.
1. Catch the misses when she is still sleeping.
2. Swear that she was having a epileptic fit in her sleep and you were only trying to stop her falling off the bed.
3 As soon as you wake her up , mention the fact that the chap you met last night fishing has a villa in St Lucia and has two plane tickets to go there in January that he can't use and has offered them to you.
4. Wake her up and ask her who the bloody hell Dave/Steve/ or Mandy is as she has been moaning erotically about them all night. This will immediately make them feel guilty, and want to prove their undying lust for you.
5. Mention that her car is getting old and you were looking at a new one yesterday that you thought she would like. ( shame it was sold when you went back later that day)
6. Point out to her that in a recent medical survey, fishermen who make love before they get up, go through the day far happier, far less stress free, and far more likely to buy their wife's random presents and is an excellent way to keep fit, so it must be worth giving it a go for a few weeks to see if it works. ( Actually all of this one is true!)
7. Mention that ' some young bitch on the telly the other day said that she hopes that she doesn't end up like most Old Women in this county who end up as boring old hags who look much older than they are because they have lost their early morning sex drive'.
8. This one never fails, bottle of bubbly, two glasses and total surprise. Well actually it can fail if you have (a) kids, ( b) animals, (c) Wrong time of the month.
9. Mention that you have had a lotto win and trying to decide if you should spend it on new fishing gear or take her shopping. Down side of this is it will cost a tenner.
10. Do what I did. Marry a totally faithfully nymphomaniac who has the sexual drive of a five balled Tom Cat at the rutting season.
If all else fails try flowers and romance , but that usually backfires as it is immediately taken as an admission of guilt.
After Neil Armstrong first stood on the Moon and said the famous "One small step" bit he was asked if it was scripted. He said it was. When asked what he would have liked to have said he replied "Go for it Charley Davro" ( And if you don't know why he wanted to saythat I will tell you)
So..............
Go for it Loopy!!!
