Post by theoldfart2 on Oct 4, 2013 19:17:52 GMT
As I have watched many governments and Euro MPs do nothing about the declining fish stocks around our waters, I have decided to sort things out myself.
You Nippers will not know this but in 530 AD ,the English (Saxons) invaded the Isle of Wight and ambushed the brave locals at the Battle of Bowcombe Valley. Since then we Islanders have been under the Jack Boot of English Imperilists.
Untill that date of treachery, the Island had been safe , owing to the extortionate ferry prices which prevented any significant numbers of English being able to afford to travel to the Island. (Same as it is now) .
But a mole was sent to infiltrate the ferry ticket office and allowed cheap day returns for the English Archery and Ferret Racing Team to come over.
They then ambushed our brave lads at Bowcombe Valley.
So now is the time to put things to rights and reclaim our heritage.
Unilatural Independence for the Isle of Wight
At the next election I shall stand as the candidate, and when I win I will form a democratic parliament . Then the next day I will have them all shot, along with all the civil servants in County Hall.
Then as supreme ruler of the Island I will claim they all waters up to 500 miles from the Island belong to us and enforce a total commercial fishing ban in them.
This will be warmly welcomed within the various governments of Europe as it will give them countless opportunities to have summits and meetings to discuss the legality and validity of the ban, thus keeping them in highly paid jobs with lot of perks.
Any commercial fishing boat caught in OUR waters will be sunk, and the crew will be forced to scour our shore lines to collect little sea shells to make those cute little houses that we can sell to the tourists .
French fishing boats, however, will be sunk, then re floated, and sunk again. That will teach them for laying siege to Carrisbrooke Castle in 1377 and burning down the Kings Head in Yarmouth.
Naturally anyone laying gill nets or long lines will be subjected to the ultimate heinous punishment known to mankind . They will be strapped to a chair and be forced to watch an endless tape of The Crankies, untill they decide to take their own lives. (Normally 12 minutes)
All fish from foreign parts will be granted political asylum and will have priority over the local fish.Same as illegal immigrants do in England over the people who have lived there for generations .
Anglers may still fish from the beach ,but may not use hooks. ( I could never afford hooks back in my day and still caught fish on a noose, it's about time they learned the old ways. It worked for Ollie Kite etc, so it will work for them)
This is a fool proof plan .
Politicians , will keep their jobs talking about it. The Island will make a fortune as a tax haven , we will soon be the only island in the world that has fish stocks so we can make a fortune from charter boats with glass bottoms showing the punters what fish look like.
We will not have hundreds of civil servants in County Hall doing the jobs that Ten could do.
And I will be supreme ruler .
What could be better??
You Nippers will not know this but in 530 AD ,the English (Saxons) invaded the Isle of Wight and ambushed the brave locals at the Battle of Bowcombe Valley. Since then we Islanders have been under the Jack Boot of English Imperilists.
Untill that date of treachery, the Island had been safe , owing to the extortionate ferry prices which prevented any significant numbers of English being able to afford to travel to the Island. (Same as it is now) .
But a mole was sent to infiltrate the ferry ticket office and allowed cheap day returns for the English Archery and Ferret Racing Team to come over.
They then ambushed our brave lads at Bowcombe Valley.
So now is the time to put things to rights and reclaim our heritage.
Unilatural Independence for the Isle of Wight
At the next election I shall stand as the candidate, and when I win I will form a democratic parliament . Then the next day I will have them all shot, along with all the civil servants in County Hall.
Then as supreme ruler of the Island I will claim they all waters up to 500 miles from the Island belong to us and enforce a total commercial fishing ban in them.
This will be warmly welcomed within the various governments of Europe as it will give them countless opportunities to have summits and meetings to discuss the legality and validity of the ban, thus keeping them in highly paid jobs with lot of perks.
Any commercial fishing boat caught in OUR waters will be sunk, and the crew will be forced to scour our shore lines to collect little sea shells to make those cute little houses that we can sell to the tourists .
French fishing boats, however, will be sunk, then re floated, and sunk again. That will teach them for laying siege to Carrisbrooke Castle in 1377 and burning down the Kings Head in Yarmouth.
Naturally anyone laying gill nets or long lines will be subjected to the ultimate heinous punishment known to mankind . They will be strapped to a chair and be forced to watch an endless tape of The Crankies, untill they decide to take their own lives. (Normally 12 minutes)
All fish from foreign parts will be granted political asylum and will have priority over the local fish.Same as illegal immigrants do in England over the people who have lived there for generations .
Anglers may still fish from the beach ,but may not use hooks. ( I could never afford hooks back in my day and still caught fish on a noose, it's about time they learned the old ways. It worked for Ollie Kite etc, so it will work for them)
This is a fool proof plan .
Politicians , will keep their jobs talking about it. The Island will make a fortune as a tax haven , we will soon be the only island in the world that has fish stocks so we can make a fortune from charter boats with glass bottoms showing the punters what fish look like.
We will not have hundreds of civil servants in County Hall doing the jobs that Ten could do.
And I will be supreme ruler .
What could be better??
